Performance Review

Sarah takes a mostly painless look at Season 2.

(Who does she need to talk to about a raise?)

IG: @sarahonpurpose

Transcript

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Well, turns out this felt a little incomplete, so I have just a couple more things to say to close this season out. It won't be a typical episode though, just a little bonus content. Or as Chris likes to call it, bone cone. Anyway, since I'm the boss of me and of this creative project, I decided to give me and this tiny cast a performance review. Historically, I've hated the idea of a performance review. I don't handle criticism well, and I actually don't hold compliments all that well either. Well, for this, I have both. So how do I think I did? Sarah is not great at making a podcast. Sarah is not the worst at making a podcast. But that's not why I did this season. Not to see if it was good or bad. It was to put myself through the exercise and finish it, even with all the discomfort. I wanted to show myself, and maybe even you listening, that it doesn't have to matter if what we make is good or not, just that it's worthy either way to try something new. Now back to Chris, I forgive him for calling this bone cone. One, because he was the producer of this podcast, and if I had to struggle with tech, it never would have happened in the first place. And two, he said my voice sounded muscular, and I kind of like that. I talked about myself a lot this season, and maybe it wasn't as useful to other people as last season. But what I wanted was to engage in the tension between making any kind of art for other people or making it just for myself, and then trying to find the sweet spot for me. I didn't, but that's okay, because I don't think podcasting is my medium. What it did do was help me clarify my thoughts, even if I only came to most of them after I hit publish. A little unfair, but oh well. So if I had to give myself feedback, which ew, it would sound something like Sarah continues to overthink it and will need to develop her underthinking skills for the next creative project she takes on. For the most part, she landed the plane with every episode, meaning no one died, though she'll never know for sure if anyone was reaching for their barf bags. Spark sessions are a great addition to her current bag of tricks, and the goal for those to go live is when the time is right. She needs improvement regarding self-promotion, and while she seemed somewhat comfortable being heard, she demonstrates a weak intolerance for being seen. Max remained a mostly silent partner except for the occasional scratching at the door. It was easy to edit and post. If Sarah was motivated to speak on stage or was invited to speak on someone else's podcast where she could actually be funny, she will need to understand that some words are inappropriate for a wider audience. And finally, Sarah showed remarkable improvement in her ability to use and listen to her own voice. Hell yeah. So you guys, that is the reason I did the season. It was a lot of work and frustrating at times, and I often felt like I was speaking into the void. But what I got out of it was worth it. Not everything needs to be a big life lesson, but I've noticed when the important ones show up, they're not shy. So again, trying something you're kind of bad at or mid or whatever, it's a worthwhile endeavor. There's an old version of me that never would have done something like this. It's so interesting the things you find out about yourself along the way. So yeah, I'm proud of myself, even if this didn't make sense to anyone, because I chose to expand. And you have to remember, most people don't try. Vulnerability and fear is real. An A for effort isn't an easy one, but listen, it's still an A. So I'm giving myself a big fat gold star just because I did it. Will you look dumb, sound dumb, seem dumb or incompetent if you try your new thing? I don't know, maybe. So what? There is value in sticking with something and seeing it through to the end. Period. I don't know what I'm gonna do next, but there's also value in not jumping into the next thing before you've had the chance to celebrate the thing you just finished. You may not hear from me for a while, but I will report back with lessons I learned from the field. Now I'm done. Yes. I hope we try new things. Oh my god.