The First Rule of Glad Bitch

Sarah lays down the foundation for the future of Glad Bitch.

And, if you ever wished there was a guidebook that could help you live your best life, Sarah knows exactly where you can get your hands on one!

Art prints IG: @jazmatazdesign

IG: @sarahonpurpose

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Let me clear my throat. Um, does anyone have a cool way to start a podcast? Because I don't know it. Hey, hey, it's me, Sarah here. So about that hangover I thought I was gonna have after posting that first episode, it wasn't actually that bad. I just wanted to lay on the couch the rest of the day, but in all honesty, I want to do that most days. So I think I maybe got away with something there. But here we are today, and if I'm honest, I've got a little bit of performance anxiety. Well, as far as I know, I don't think anyone's ever died from that, so let's go. Have you ever seen a dog roll around in throw-up or some other similar gross thing? Well, if you were concerned, that's not how I was rolling around in the shame story the last two or three years. I'm sure I sat in the sun and ate some ice cream. I'm sure I went on a thousand walks with my dog and stopped to smell the roses and shit. What I really mean is that I had a few years that I felt called to go more inward. Something was telling me that I wasn't gonna find what I was looking for out there. And I think I was right. But a couple of big life things happened that I didn't tell you about. I was also navigating an interstate move. I went from living almost 15 years in Santa Barbara, California. Miss you guys, and moved to Portland, Oregon. That still sounds really weird in my mouth because I don't know if it fully feels like I even live here yet, or if it even feels like home. Some days I kind of just feel like a helium balloon and need a place to tie my string. I have a lot to say about change and newness and all that jazz, but today is not the day. I got something else in mind. This episode is about setting the foundation for this podcast and maybe even like the rest of my life. No big whoop, right? Is that too ambitious? Ah. Well, as an homage to a local author here, Chuck Pollin Polinok, Pollin, Polen Yak, Paulin, whatever, however the hell you say it, the Fight Club guy, this episode is called The First Rule of Glad Bitch. But there will be three rules. And this is also coming from someone who hates rules. Now, of course, I set these rules up for myself, but if they speak to you, then by all means make them your own. The first rule is we do talk about Glad Bitch. For me, that means tell people about this podcast. For you, that means tell people about that vulnerable thing that you're starting, or something you're interested in trying or learning, or what you're in the process of making. I mean, don't get me wrong, you can tell everybody about my podcast if you want to, but you get the idea. Here's why that's important. I was pretty shy to tell people about my podcast in the first season. Like I wanted to have done it, but I didn't want to deal with any of the discomfort. I didn't want to leave myself open to criticism, you know? Now I'm telling people, and cool things are happening because of it. Just like little synchronistic winks from the universe. I met a new friend last week, this really cool woman, and I told her I had a podcast and what it was about, like returning to your voice, trying to find your voice after you've been away for a long time, yada yada, et cetera, et cetera. And it turns out that she's a voiceover professional. Like she uses her voice as a job. We had this incredible conversation, and after talking for a while, it sounds like using your voice and using your voice for something really personal to you are two very different things. It made me feel affirmed that while this podcast may not be technically good, it still has value. Then a couple nights ago, we went to this Portland night market where there's like a bunch of artists and shit like that. I know, surprising in Portland, right? Anyway, I stopped by this booth and there was this young woman, and I mean it, like I could have been her mom. She's a stand-up comedian by day, or I guess by night, which made me love her, obviously. But what I thought was so compelling were these little art prints that she made. They were these phrases that she would say to herself right before she gets on stage and takes the mic. These little affirmations she uses to gas herself up in those moments of fear that stand between her and what makes her come to life. I thought it was really human and really cool. I bought two of them. The first one said, dance like everybody is watching and they love you and you're a star. And the second one, which was my favorite, said, Why am I anxious and terrified to do something I was born to do? I told her how much I liked her stuff, and we talked about not waiting until you're all the way confident to try something. And I told her about Glad Bitch. And then we friggin' hugged. Like, what the hell? Am I nice now? I couldn't help myself, okay? And a lot of the artists there had the same kind of energy. It's not like I liked all their stuff. Some of it was really weird and really out there, but the message was share. Share your work, share whatever your glad bitch is. Not like, ugh, here's this dumb thing I made. Or like, I know it's not good. I know this is silly, but no, no, and no. You share what you made and you be proud of it. There's no shame in that. And then probably the most rewarding and best part of sharing, Glad Bitch, is hearing from you guys. Hearing from people after they listen to it, like what they got out of it and what it makes them think about and how it makes them feel. Like I'm not kidding when I say it's all I ever wanted. And all I had to do to get that was just show up. Okay, so you tell people, you share it, and then the people who like your stuff also share it. And then the people who aren't interested just kind of naturally fall away. But then new people come along and they really vibe with you and they want more. And that's kind of the same as being yourself, right? It's some real law of attraction shit. Then the I don't like it people just aren't as important to the story as they used to be. That's rule number one. Now for the second rule. Sometimes you gotta break the rules, even your own. If you don't know much about me or anything about me, really, I've been a life coach for over 10 years now, and I really don't love calling myself that. I might even workshop a new title for myself in a future episode or let you help me pick one. My job doesn't really have a lot to do with this podcast, per se, but in this episode, it does matter for context. Because another thing I did between this season of the podcast and the last one was make something that frankly kind of bombed. Tanked. And I spent a year working on it. Maybe a year and a half if you count all the time I spent in my head. I created a private audio series. It was free and anybody could listen to it. And maybe this is where you think to yourself, uh, what? Isn't that the same as a podcast? Yes, you would be correct, but don't get me started. I wanted it to be like this smart thing, like a standalone education piece. There were multiple episodes, it had companion news newsletters, it had each episode had good, solid coaching questions. But the unspoken thing was that I wanted it to legitimize me as a coach, someone who made things that would make people, ooh, and ah over. And only like, I don't know, four or five people listened to it all the way through. I obsessed, I mean, I obsessed over the content and editing and swapping out words for more perfect and clever ones. When it was time to record, I read every word line by line so I didn't miss a beat or a concept or leave out anything that wouldn't prove I was a frickin' Jedi wizard of self-discovery. I sounded like I was giving driving directions. Like that lady on Google Maps. Big snooze. The audio course was called Am I Doing This Right? Five Rules to Break and Advice to Unfollow on the Road to Becoming Yourself. Again, it was called Am I Doing This Right? Five Rules to Break and Advice to Unfollow on the Road to Becoming Yourself. Cute, right? Yeah, I thought so too. And you know what? I can still rip these rules right off the top of my head. You want to hear them? Okay. Number one, get over yourself. Two, use your head. Three, act like a grown-up. Four, stick to the plan. And five, do it yourself. All rules to break. When it was all said and done, it just didn't seem to have been worth everything I put into it. I put myself through the ringer, you guys, trying to get it right. And then I was really fucking pissed at myself for wasting all that time. Turns out I was like on a textbook hero's journey. I went all the way around the circle. During a session with one of my most favorite clients, I mentioned the series. She was like, oh, that sounds interesting. Which, if you don't know, is Minnesotan for I probably won't listen to it. But what she said next reframed everything. It was something like, sure would be nice to have a guidebook on how to get this life stuff right. Huh. A guidebook. But that wasn't what I said. So I asked her, what would your guidebook be called if it could tell you how to get what it is that you really want and be the best version of yourself? I'll never forget the answer. She said, How to fill your own cup and drink it while it's hot. Can we pause for how awesome that is? How to fill your own cup and drink it while it's hot. What made that such a mic drop moment was that she didn't need rules to break. She needed a guide, one only she could make to help get over people pleasing, learn some boundaries, and find more fulfillment and joy in her everyday life. It's all stuff we had been working on now with a special framework that I never could have come up with on my own. And you know what? We had a blast figuring out what would be in that guide. They weren't easy steps, the things in her guidebook. If they were, they wouldn't be the right ones. And now she'll always be resourced to figure out what to do when she feels like her cup is draining. What I found after all of that and putting myself through that whole test was that I was trying to force a story about rules everyone should be breaking, but those rules were meant for me to break. Looking back, it's so obvious. I was way too in my head when I made it. I was overthinking the whole thing. I didn't check in with how it made me feel. I was acting like a smarty pants, know it all. I was forcing it to look and sound and be a certain way. And I certainly didn't ask anybody for help. All by design, it turns out, because yeah, I ended up right where I started, but with a whole lot more knowledge about myself. Now I know the rules I'm meant to break in my bones. They're my guideposts on how to create this season of the podcast, sure, but also a guide on how to become myself forever. My quest is learning to follow my own rules. So it turns out that time wasn't really wasted after all, because the truth is, I'm pretty rebellious by nature, and that isn't always a bad thing. Not when my path is all about breaking the wrong rules for the right reasons. And you know what? I still really love the concept and might still find a way to repurpose it all. Which brings me to the third and last rule. Don't let not knowing the ending prevent you from beginning. I definitely got something out of that audio series that looked nothing like I expected or hoped, and it was way better. But too many times I don't stick around for the whole story. And who knows where this will all lead. I sure shit don't. I think maybe we should all consider doing something just because. Just for the experience. For the story. It's like releasing control of the outcome is how we give the universe a green light to surprise us. So that's me telling you about Glad Bitch. And we'll see how well I follow all the other rules or not moving forward. Oh, and before I forget, you can email me at hello at Sarahwarman.com or find me on Insta at Sarah Onpurpose. I write a little newsletter and you can subscribe there. It's about as sporadic and unpredictable as my period.